down, down, down the rabbit hole.

So what does all this 2012 brouhaha mean? Is the world coming to an end as we know it? Will the banks and economy totally collapse, and will we all have to re-engineer our Mad Max vehicles to work on biofuel and all run around wearing fur and patchwork capes?
One thing I do notice, is many of us are wanting to get ourselves situated in a place we really are called to be -- it is a time of readjusting priorities and making what truly is important the emphasis in our lives.
For me, my Shamanic work and my art are key to my sense of doing work that is meaningful.
Taking care of my family has been my number one priority for 25 years, and that chapter is slowly morphing into a time of more independence and autonomy.
This is hard for me. It feels like loss.
I weep for the time of no more cooking for a family, helping with homework, driving someone to somewhere, or many somewheres each day.
At the same time, it is so amazing to have this time to myself, time to really focus on the art, the healing work, the connection to wonder and growth and Spirit.
I firmly believe that as we heal ourselves, we heal the planet.
and that as we learn to take our own suffering and transmute it into compassion, the whole world benefits.

That's why I work in an art journal and share it here.
This work feels like my calling.

So today I was called to do this wild layout.
We got a little handout in the movie theater advertising this new Tim Burton Movie Alice in Wonderland.
You better believe I am excited about that one.

So I just tore that puppy up, cut and glued, added some ink and words.
and VOILA -- crazy fun pages that make me happy.
Let your journal make you happy today!

and never mind about 2012 - it will be a wild rabbit hole of wonder, and fun, too.



Alice laughed. "There's no use trying," she said: "one can't believe impossible things."
"I daresay you haven't had much practice," said the Queen. "When I was your age, I always did it for half-an-hour a day. Why, sometimes I've believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast."
(Through the Looking Glass, Chapter 5)

some photos, some ink, some markers . . . .

This photo on the left page of my journal is one of the most favorite ever I have taken - it is a shadow cast down on Breitenbush River by my husband and I as we stood above on a footbridge.
Sometimes, just being able to print out a photo like this and put it in my journal is enough . . . . but I did add some more - a photo of the hand burned wooden sign into the conference center, and some words.
Then a few squiggly lines.
oh yeah, some stamps of bees, they just seemed like they belonged.
Being in nature, being in beauty, is so essential to my mental health.
I am so thrilled we are moving to a place where we can be outdoors more, with the mountains right there every day, awaiting our boots.
Yesterday we hiked a bit on Green Mountain, and mud, snow, slush, and ice, it didn't matter. The dogs were so happy and so were we.
Being outside = happiness.
And to cap it off with some photographs and journaling about it all = even more happiness.



"What is the good of your stars and trees, your sunrise and the wind, if they do not enter into our daily lives?" --E. M. Forster

hello from Colorado

My journal is getting a bit lonely, and the Muse is a bit mad at me for my neglect.
I have promised her lots of attention very very soon - because she likes glitter and messy paint and tearing up paper and making outrageous fun collages. . . . luckily she knows walks in the mountains will soon be a part of our daily life here in the Rockies! I heard someone on a great radio show about art say if they don't do their art daily, someone will get hurt. That they just tell their family, "don't knock on this door unless someone is bleeding or the house is on fire." Because we all have interruptions, and there just are no excuses for not making art . . . . so forgive me, Muse, I promise to spend some time this week with my journal.

I am in Colorado for a week of reconnoitering before our move next month, and I will fit in some journal time, and get some images posted at some point this week.
But for right now, I need to get outside and get the foot of snow off the car, so I can go pick up my daughter, who has been at a Unitarian Retreat for 9th graders - we are getting her plugged in here. Why did the snow come just now? I guess this is Colorado. . . . I better get used to it.

Happy Journaling!

"Life is either a daring adventure, or nothing." --Helen Keller

I might just read this every morning. . . .

"Once you start to awaken, no one can ever claim you again for the old patterns. Now you realize how precious your time is here. You are no longer willing to squander your essence on undertakings that do not nourish your true self; your patience grows thin with tired talk and dead language. You see through the rosters of expectation which promise you safety and the confirmation of outer identity. Now you are impatient for growth, willing to put yourself in the direction of change. You want your work to become an expression of your gift. You want your relationship to voyage beyond the pallid fontiers to where the danger of transforatmion dwells. You want your God to be wild and to call you to where your destiny awaits.

You have come out of Platos's cave of Images into the sunlight and mystery of color and imagination."

--John O'Donohue

not much journaling time

I have not had much time with my journal lately - I was in Portland, then Breitenbush, Oregon for a mushroom festival where I showed my mushroom collage paintings and enjoyed some beautiful hikes in the woods learning about mushroom foraging, and some lovely hot springs soaks.
Lots of photos are here at my Facebook page:
Photos of Mushrooms and More

I am starting to organize and pack for our move to Denver, so please bear with me as I get my life moved across the country. I promise there will be much journaling to come! And I hear there is lots of snow there already, to greet us as we head West.

My mom celebrates her 80th birthday next week, so to honor her just a bit, enjoy this photo collage of the two of us:



"The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age." --Lucille Ball

Starting a new journal, and a new chapter in our lives.

My current journal is now full, the pages bursting with collage, ink, scribbles, and words. It will join about 40 others on the journal shelf, and I will very soon start a new book.
This book went to Iceland, California, and Oregon, and now, it will move with us and all our stuff to Denver in two months.
We are starting a new life, and my journaling work will certainly help me figure it all out.
Since I have a household of 6 (with dog), and a studio to pack, and a decade of living here in New Jersey to tie up, clients, groups, friends, yada yada yada; I won't be here quite as much - please know once we are settled in Denver, I will be back full force.
and do keep on journaling!



"The greatest achievement was at first and for a time a dream. The oak sleeps in the acorn; the bird waits in the egg; and in the highest vision of the soul a waking angel stirs." --James Allen

Shamanic Circle in Central Park, NYC

Sunday, the annual NYC Shamanic Circle met. There were Aztecs from an ancient line of Shamanic dancers who did a demo and it was magnificent - journal pages to come, but here are some photos in the meantime:





\

Being led by intution

Go chase your dreams.
Ignore the data, and then . . . . SCORE!!!!!!
Brain - 0
Intuition - 100

So my life goes on in this pattern, it might not make any sense, but it sure is turning out to be a wild ride.
Details to come very soon.



"I'd like to write the way I do my paintings, that is, as fantasy takes me, as the moon dictates." --Paul Gauguin

The Red Book of C.G. Jung

I saw it.
Carl Jung kept an "art" journal where he visited his subconscious in a series of experiments and journeys, then he wrote and drew of the experiences and entities he visited in one large leather bound volume. He said much of his psychological theories were drawn on these early years of connecting with his own inner creativity and "madness."
His family suppressed the book's publication for many years (90!) because they thought it belittled his academic achievements.

Well here we are in the New Age, finally.
Finally we are in a place where a gifted academic is allowed his magical inner life, his connection to Spirit, his meanderings in and out of what we call sanity.

I have always deeply valued the brave work done when artists, writers, creators, and thinkers delve deep into their inner selves, connect to that universal place of Spirit, and share what they found.
Sometimes, they do find insanity, and the work is too much - Vincent Van Gogh was one of these souls. Sometimes this soul work takes us out of this reality so much, we have a hard time finding our way back.

But if we stay aware of our own needs, if we feel supported and loved, and know how to ask for that support, the inner journey is a rich, rich landscape of this inner connection to the divine.

I get support with my numerous sounding boards - my journal, my Shamanic journeying for others and with others, my Goddess group, my loving and supportive family, and taking plenty of time to process my journeying and journaling work.

So - if you are in NYC the next few months, stop in at the Rubin Museum and see this remarkable book. You can page through a copy of it, and although I was bit surprised at the carefulness of Jung's work (he made rough drafts of the words and drawings before committing them to the book) I know he was a product of his very stilted Victorian time; he also was a pioneer in exploring the inner self.

Thanks, C.G.



"As far as we can discern, the sole purpose of human existence is to kindle a light in the darkness of mere being." --Carl Jung

Let the beauty we love be what we do.

"Today, like every other day, we wake up empty
and frightened. Don’t open the door to the study
and begin reading. Take down a musical instrument.
Let the beauty we love be what we do.
There are hundreds of ways to kneel and kiss the ground."
--Rumi

Red

Red is the color of passion and love.
Red is the color of bright Fall leaves, and the photosynthesis slowing down from doing its work, sending those leaves into the next phase of their lives to be compost on the woods floor.
Red is the color of blood.
The Red moon happens during Harvest moon, when it is very low on the horizon, and because red is the lowest vibration in the spectrum it is reflected more in our view.

I am loving the Fall weather, feeling the coolness in the air, the brightening of the colors, the emergence of forest mushrooms and harvesting of all the fruits of summer labor.
Soon the ground will be fallow, and I, too, tend to slow down in the Winter, in the darkness, absorbing the quiet time of reflection and hibernation.

Thank You Fall/Mabon, for the balance of light to dark in our lives, for the movement of the seasons in our understanding of ourselves, and for the changes that help us know new life emerges after the quiet.



"Cease trying to work everything out with your minds. It will get you nowhere. Live by intuition and inspiration and let your whole life be Revelation." --Eileen Caddy

creativity as spiritual practice

ToDaY
I vow to spend my precious hours being in grace, and knowing I am in the right place.
I vow to know my contribution to the creative work in the world is valuable and will add meaning somewhere somehow to someone.
I vow to breath in my suffering, and breath out compassion for ALL beings.
I vow to know being in Truth sometimes means doing what others' need before doing what I think I need.
I vow to access my inner magic, to go to this place as a first resort, not as a last resort when I am needy and scared and want something.
I vow to serve Spirit in my work, serve Spirit in how I spend my time, serve Spirit in how I take care of myself.
I vow to work on remembering that I am Loved, by humans, by my dog, by my spirit teachers and power animals, by random beings who connect with my art, and truly, by my self.

I vow to continue to work on sharing these truths with all I meet, with all I send these words to, with all I have chance and planned encounters.
Blessed Be.



"This is the miracle that happens every time to those who really love: the more they give, the more they possess." --Rainer Maria Rilke

Monday monday monday morning

The White sage incense is alit.
I have stretched my body a bit, put it in a few yoga asanas to get the blood and oxygen flowing.
I open my journal, surrounding myself with lovely papers to tear, photos to cut out, inks to spill, juicy markers to put lines and marks on the colorful pages I will make.
I breath in any pain I feel for me, my loved ones, this world.
I breath out compassion, and begin work in my journal.

Welcome, Fall.
Welcome, Creativity.
Welcome, to the inner Wisdom that comes with the suffering of all the years and all the experiences in my life, and even the difficulties.

Blessed Be.



"F--- logic!
Bravo to instincts and sweet intuition!“ --Björk

thankful

Last night the full moon shone on a foggy ground, rain came in bunches then left a clear sky.
This morning our dog gleefully chased some deer, then came running back so proud of his accomplishment.
Today I thank the power animals in my life who help me, I thank my Spirit teachers who guide me, I thank my family who are there, in love, for me.
I thank the water for it's sustaining lubrication, the earth for it's cycle of birth and death, the fire for heat and energy, and air for the breath of life.
Blessed be for all the gifts in this one small world we share.



"Everyone is in the best seat." --John Cage

opposites

light and dark
smooth and rough
above and below
curly and straight
struggle and rest
success and failure
all are opposite sides of the very same coin

through it all, I breath in suffering, and I breath out compassion.



"The problems of the world cannot possibly be solved by skeptics or cynics whose horizons are limited by obvious realities. We need men and women who can dream of things that never were..." --John F. Kennedy

Spirit of Snake

A snake has represented sin in many a world religion, the tree of knowledge was shown to Eve by the snake. Snake Oil is synonymous for a sort of a lie.

Women have been called snake-like by men who are scared and don't trust them. The allure of a slithering, graceful creature calls them, and I guess this can be a threat. I like the idea of channeling the better parts of snake nature, and letting the cunning and freedom to sin be positive traits of the snake.
I also love the amazing geometric patterns on snakes - I recently saw a 12 foot Burmese Water Python at the National Zoo - it was decorated with green and brown diamond patterns of such precision and beauty.

but the very best thing about snakes is the way they shed their skin and become new. Not being attached to the old skin, we can reinvent ourselves and start totally fresh.

Thank you Mother Earth for snakes.



"I’m a tiger when I want love, but I’m a snake if we disagree."
--Jethro Tull

Patterns

May the patterns of my life reflect joy and love for all living things.
May the patterns I create be for the best good of all around me.
May the patterns of my thoughts be uplifting, positive, peaceful and seek the higher way, always.
I vow to radically focus on all that is love, all that is of connection, and to let all else fall away.

If believing life should be this simple is an illusion, then I choose this illusion over the aggressive, plastic-wrapped, consumer driven world I see around me.

Blessed Be.



"Come on you raver, you seer of visions, come on you painter, you piper, you prisoner, and shine!" --Pink Floyd

my journal helps me honor important words:

I want to thank Spirit for words of wisdom I get when Shamanic journeying.
I want to thank Spirit for words of wisdom others' find for me when they Shamanic journey for me.
I am so honored and blessed to have this channel to Truth.
Namaste - Spirits of Truth.



“Let your mind start a journey through a strange new world. Leave all thoughts of the world you knew before. Let your soul take you where you long to be... Close your eyes let your spirit start to soar, and you'll live as you've never lived before.” --Erich Fromm

Janet Lowry

This beautiful person just channeled creativity and inspiration.

**a short film about her studio and work**

She died yesterday.
Her visual journals have been accepted into the Smithsonian, and if you watch this little film about her life, you will see why.
Her work can inspire any visual journaler to stick with it - you will see her shelves with 30 years worth of her wonderful personal and exhuberant books. You can also see some of her work process.
And reading of her passing in her blog is a wonderful affirming account of a very graceful way to go with friends, family and even an angel present:

**Her Passing**



“I believe that imagination is stronger than knowledge -- myth is more potent than history -- dreams are more powerful than facts -- hope always triumphs over experience -- laughter is the cure for grief -- love is stronger than death.” --Robert Fulghum

Fall - a time of coming darkness. . . .

As the dark time of year approaches, I have trust that even in darkness, stillness can give me insight and be a powerful tool for growth.
The cycles of light and dark can make me feel depressed, but I know and trust there is coming light, and new life down the road.
Without death there can't be life, so without the dark, there can be no light.

I am learning to honor the darkness with my own inner stillness, not to just rush around in the dark, bumping into things.

I thank Spirit that this wisdom comes with my aging, that as I approach my own Autumn in life, I will be still and know all shall be well.

Trauma, struggles, effort to meld the world into my own way of being, all the work of twenty years of raising kids, making a house, moving here and there with a family, trying to make some meaningful art; I trust that all these efforts will bear fruit, even if not in my own time of seeing that outcome.
Planting seeds is sometimes like this -- we blindly send forth our best work into the world, then we endure a time of waiting while the fields seem to be fallow.
The waiting can be really hard, the not knowing if our efforts mean anything.

But under it all, in the dark, seeds are germinating, I know for certain my efforts will not have been in vain.
I thank Spirit for the coming time of dark, a coming time of reflection, contemplation, a time of just being and waiting.
Blessed Be.



"In Mabon -- Mother Goddess becomes Crone and her bright Sun consort has lost his fight for supremacy over the night . . . . " -K.D. Spitzer